While I Was Away

I recently returned from Costa Rica. The only TV channel I could get in my room in San Jose carried daily live the Casey Anthony trial. Impressions of America just based on our TV feed give quite a bizarre picture. Trust me, the irony of being on a “dental vacation” in a tropical locale while seeing Casey’s grossly incongruent affect as a potential homicidal mother did not escape me.

My mostly pleasant trip was, in a way, reminiscent of her superficial, matter of fact attitude towards her daughter’s murder. It reminded me how grateful I am that my life has become mundane (thank God) since recovery from drugs and stabilization on meds. While I never had homicidal traits, at some level I can relate to how Casey’s dysfunctional family is capable of gross denial and a sickening acceptance of the unacceptable.

It was amazing to watch some of the video of family talks on the jail phone and how familiar the dynamics were, so similar to some cases I have had in the past. I was reminded of many clients and their families in the tendency to believe their own lies and rationalize their choices. The challenging part came in how, in attempting to treat and gain trust in very sick situations, I would have to repress my own feelings and thoughts in order to create open dialogue about normally clandestine conversations.

It is amazing how the brain adapts to these situations. Before I knew it I no longer noticed Casey’s blatant dishonesty, lack of logic or avoidance of facts. It wasn’t until I stood up and turned off the TV that I realized how Casey’s defensive moves had served her well. The primary focus became the family dynamics as we saw the point of the departed baby seem to fade in the background.

I suppose that this is why I have always, in my practice and especially on my radio show, been fascinated by cults. The capacity for our minds to be heinously distorted as individuals and in groups is not as unlikely as we would like to think. “There but for the Grace of God…..” The survivors of Jim Jones’ cult and mass murder are a perfect example. From physicians to children, the dynamic (if you were an insider) slowly created a convincing acceptance of the unacceptable. Research has proven time and again that saying “No” to authority or groups is sadly not always our first and natural response. From Hitler and Jim Jones to survivors of domestic violence and gangs, if we do not constantly honor our emotional and spiritual needs our base, primal nature will quiescently determine our choices.